Apron Strings Devotional for3/4/2000

3/4//00

Good Morning....
Jesus loves You!!

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Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony;
-Revelation 12:10-11-

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Hi Dear Friends!!

I pray this finds you doing well in our Lord Jesus Christ!! I have a surprise for you today. It's a testimony. Nope, not mine. ( You have to dig in the Apron Strings archives for that! ) ( smile )

This testimony belongs to a dear friend in the Lord that I met a little over two months ago online. She recently had a "Birthday" and was led to write out her testimony on that day. Well, she shared it with me and as I was reading it, I knew it was too powerful to be limited to my eyes. So, with her permission, ( due to my groveling ) I would like to present to you, Renee's testimony. See you at the end!

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MY TESTIMONY

By: Renee, RMatt96454@aol.com
Birthed into the family of God on 2/27/78

Twenty-two years ago today I became a child of God! In thanksgiving for the life He has given me through His Son, today I give back testimony of the great love of God. Not long after I had come to Christ, He showed me a reflection of my life in Psalm 116. So follow me as I use this Psalm to show you a loving Savior.

Psalm 116: 1-2
"I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications, because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live."

I had grown up in a loving, God-fearing, church going family of 11 (five brothers and five sisters). I knew all about Jesus, prayed to Him, and thought myself to be a fairly good person. It wasn't until I left home, had gotten married, and was pregnant with my first child that I felt the first pangs of emptiness in my heart. I thought it was perhaps because I had quit attending church since I had left home. Or maybe it was knowing that soon I would be responsible for a little one to raise, and knew the importance of raising my child to love God, or maybe it was my rebellious lifestyle. Whatever the reason, I was a troubled expectant mother.

My first attempt to solve this emptiness was to go back to church. I would sit in church and just cry, not knowing why, not feeling any better for having gone. Something was missing! I didn't know what! Was the Lord trying to prepare me for what was ahead? Was the Father trying to draw me into a relationship with Him then . . . before the day came when I would desperately need Him?

It was springtime, new life all around, a hint of spring in the air, and Easter would be celebrated that Sunday. It was a great week to experience the birth of my firstborn! My Thursday doctor's appointment sent me directly to the hospital . . . my blood pressure was up, the doctor assured me there was nothing to worry about. I was two week's overdue, so the time had come.

Since I merely had a backache, I considered myself to be very fortunate as I listened to the moans and groans of those already giving birth! I could handle this - a piece of cake! The next thing I knew there was a worried look on the doctor's face. With one quick needle I was fast asleep.

When I awoke I couldn't remember where I was. Had someone died? Was I in a funeral home? My room was filled with flowers. It was dark in there, and everyone looked so sad. The doctor came in and sat at the foot of my bed. My husband sat at my side. Had he been crying? The doctor went on to tell me a horror story that put me in shock for the next seven days. My little boy had been born with a birth defect, the most severe form of spina bifida. He also had hydrocephalus, or fluid build-up on his brain, he was paralyzed from the chest down, and probably would only live for ten days. If he lived much longer than that, we were assured that he would have to be institutionalized. It was the doctor's recommendation that we go home, take down the new nursery, because our baby wouldn't be coming home.

Psalm 116:3
"The pains of death surrounded me, and the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the Lord; "O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul.â**

"But he was such a beautiful child, and he seemed to have such strength,â** I thought to myself. I could not carry a child for nine months to leave him to die. And yet I was incapable of anything. I don't remember many events of that week. My sister drove down from Maryland to be with me, and it was her efforts that enabled us to take Keith home with us on the seventh day, against the hospital and doctor's wishes. All his belongings had been removed from the house. And so we wrapped our child in a hospital blanket and headed home, not knowing what to expect.

The next six weeks were nothing short of a nightmare. Because we had gone against the hospital and doctor's wishes, there was not a physician in the town of Macon, GA, who would see our baby. No one! I didn't know how to care for his little back, which now had a protruding sac of spinal fluid encased by a thin layer of membranes. He cried day and night from the increasing pressure on his brain. I called organizations, anyone, to help me. I was in utter hopelessness and despair. Except for a nurse that lived down the street to help me to care for Keith's back, we were all alone in this.

My emotions were running rampant now, and I was very angry at God. How could He allow this to happen to my son? Where was God when I needed him? I held Keith for hours on end in a rocking chair, cursing God with all that was in me. He had abandoned us! Or had He? Somewhere in that empty heart the Lord was saying, "Trust me. This is all part of my plan. Give this little one back to Me.â** And so I did. I entrusted Keith to the Lord to either take Him, or help Him.

Within days the chain of events were remarkable! Spinal fluid had begun to leak, and I found one pediatrician who reluctantly agreed to see him. That same day a cassette tape came in the mail from my sister, who had met with doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and she urged me to fly Keith to Baltimore immediately. The pediatrician, in turn, advised me to go immediately, as he needed to be hospitalized and we were close to losing him.

We had just enough money to get a plane ticket to Baltimore, and literally in a day's time, had to make a decision to pack up and go, never again to return to our home in Macon.

Upon arriving in Baltimore, I was met by a team of doctors, who told me that one more day of waiting and Keith would have been lost, as infection had already begun in the spinal fluid. His head was shunted first, then the back closed, all over a period of two months. All this time I could not hold him; my only contact was to let his little fingers wrap around mine. For what seemed to be weeks there was no response from him. He had had some seizures and the doctors thought he was blind, as he did not respond to light.

And so I waited on the Lord to carry out His plan, whatever it was, all the time, feeling there was something else He was trying to tell me. Could He want me to entrust MYSELF to Him, just as I did with Keith? Never! By mid-August I had the joy of holding Keith for the first time since he was six weeks old. It was the most overwhelming joyful experience a mother could know! And for the first time in his life he smiled the biggest smile! It was at this moment that his trance-like state dissolved - he knew his Mommy! He could see! The Lord had plans to keep him here with us!

Rather than go through a life-time of absolute miracles with this child with you, which only the hand of God could achieve, I must tell you that he was the most beautiful, happiest, lovable child who ever was, even through surgeries, etc.!

I saw the love of God in my child, and he demonstrated to me how simple trust in Him works miracles. The story is still continuing - as Keith will be 27 years old on April 13th of this year. For 13 years he had the privilege to walk in long-legged braces, a feat that experts watched in wonder and said it was impossible. They said he would NEVER walk! He attends college part-time, and tutors the disabled for their GED. Does this sound like the child who would have been institutionalized? Only by God's
grace is this possible!

About six years later, as the Lord showed me time and time again that He had a plan for this boy's life, I learned to realize that yes, He wanted my trust as well. In fact, He wanted a personal relationship with me! Everytime I turned around He was putting people in my path who witnessed to me the love of God, who encouraged me to give my heart to Him.

Then on February 27, 1978, on my way to work, in the fast lane of traffic, at 8:20 a.m., and with my eyes wide open (of course I was driving), I called upon the Lord to save my soul. I know salvation is not based on emotions or "feelings," but a mighty burden was lifted from me at that instant. The depression, anger, guilt, all of it, was instantly removed and I remember it to this day!

You see, He used this tiny bundle of joy, a broken little body, to bring me to a point of surrender. I had to come to the end of myself to realize that there is NO HOPE without Christ. He also showed me my own handicaps over the years, ones that are not even physical. Keith is confined to a wheelchair now, but the day is coming when the lame will leap, and there will be some jumping, shouting, and rejoicing in this family to see Keith decked out in a new body (no more scars, brittle bones, shunts, surgeries!).

Perhaps you find yourself carrying a cross too heavy to bear today. Maybe you've asked Him to remove it and He hasn't. Then pick it up and carry it, for the Lord has a plan to use you like you cannot imagine, and through your your situation He can be glorified. Trust Him . . . and just you wait and see what my God can do!

Psalm 116:5-6
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes, our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me.

Keith gave his heart to Jesus shortly after I did, and the Lord used him in a mighty way to see a young man with leukemia come to Christ 10 days before the man died. And I could tell you countless other times when only Keith could touch a hardened heart for God.
God makes no mistakes!

And so with a grateful heart, I say, . . .

Psalm 116:12-13
"What shall I render to the Lord for all His benefits toward me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord now in the presence of His people."

(v. 17)
"You have loosed my bonds. I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows to the Lord now in the presence of all His people, in the courts of the Lord's house, in the midst of you, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord!"

Keith

Psalm 139:15-17

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Under His Wings,
Renee, RMatt96454@aol.com
Matt. 6:33

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( Carol here ) Thanks Renee!! And thanks Dear Friends for listening. We
truly are Overcomers by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony! Testimonies are crucial. It keeps us in remembrance that God is God, and He IS in control, no matter how dire the circumstances are, and no matter how hard the enemy tries to bring us down. Remember the Word says he is "hurled down!" Unveil your testimony. You ARE an Overcomer through the blood of Jesus, and through the word of your testimony!!

In closing, I would like to encourage you to read all of Psalm 116 during your Bible reading today. And then, if you want some more, go on and read Psalm 117, and follow that little chapter to the letter! ( smile ) You couldn't help but be blessed if you do that! Praise Him, for He is so worthy to be praised!!

God Bless You All!!
And remember..
Jesus loves you and I do too!

In Christ!!
Carol
Justaservn@aol.com

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